Hook-Ups, Hickies and Getting Back Up On the Horse

Over the years I’ve heard lots of debate about how long it takes a person to get over a heartbreak, and either move on to someone new, or move on to feeling happy again alone. Some say it’s a numbers game, where it all depends how long you were with that person. Some would argue that it depends on how much you loved that person, because not everybody whose heart is broken was actually in a relationship with that person to begin with.

For me, it’s all about the music. I know I am close to being ready to move on when I can listen to a song that reminds me of them, all the way through, without switching to another song. I know I am over it completely when I can, not only listen to the song, but sing along obnoxiously.

Music has always been a huge part of my life. As with most people I have a soundtrack to my life. Every guy who has really meant something to me, has had a specific song or band that brings me back to them. With Johnny, it was Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” lame, I know, but he was my first boyfriend, and we dated in 1997, when that song was at the height of its popularity and was being played at every school dance. That’s why it was our song. It was the first song me and Johnny ever slow danced to. Those were simpler times I tells ya.

With Dave #1, it was anything by Queen. Fall Out Boy reminds me of Brett. Without fail I think of Jay every time “Minority” by Green Day plays on my iPod. My first sexual experiences with Dave #4 have made it certain that I will never be able to listen to anything by L.L. Cool J without being a little aroused. Dave #4 also made me fall in love with a song called “The Golden Age” by The Asteroids Galaxy Tour, a song which you’d all probably recognize from a Heineken commercial from late 2011. It took me months after we broke up to be able to listen to that song from beginning to end. Which was a shame. It’s a great song.

With Erik, he ruined The Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack for me. I used to love the music from the movie, and after seeing the stage play, I loved it even more. The problem was that he was in the stage play of it when I saw it, and now I can’t do the Time Warp without thinking of him. Stupid bastard, he didn’t even have a big part in the play, and he didn’t even sing in the Time Warp song.

There is good news for me and my iPod though; I can get through a couple minutes of some of the other songs from Rocky without flipping the song, and I have a feeling it will be no time till I’m taking a jump to the left, a step to the right, putting my hands on my hips, bringing my knees in tight, doing pelvic thrusts that will drive everybody insane. (If you don’t know the song, this won’t make much sense, so go listen to it.)

With this feeling that I’m starting to feel better about Erik, and more importantly, being angrier with him than I am sad about him, I’m back on the dating site. But before I did that, I hooked-up with Soccer Boy. Soccer Boy for those who don’t remember is one of the two guys I met shortly before Valentine’s Day. We had a dud first date, and then decided to just be friends and have a do-over first date. The do-over went well to say the least, and he became only the second guy to give me an orgasm since last January when I was dating Dave. And we didn’t even have sex. Go me. (For the record, Erik wasn’t the other one. As good as the sex was with him, he never once got me there.)

It was well over a week before I heard from him again. It wasn’t a big deal though because I wasn’t reaching out to Soccer Boy either, honestly I didn’t care if I heard from him or not. So when he texted me again last week, and wanted to make plans for Friday, I knew what he wanted to happen. Only this time he wanted full out sex. Or just a blow job, both of which he did not get. Because I’m a lady. And what I mean by that, is that it was that time of month in lady town, so no fucking way was he going to get a BJ when I couldn’t get much of anything.

So we made out like we were in high school. I thought that meant that we’d feel each other up, and sloppily make out for a few hours while “watching a movie”. Which is exactly what it was. Except I forgot that another thing high school make out sessions are notorious for, is hickies. This 30 some year old man gave me a hickie. I knew while I was still at his house that things didn’t feel right. I may be ready to start dating again, but not like this.

So who knows if I’ll talk to Soccer Boy again anytime soon. Now that my time of the month is over with, I am almost temped to hook up with him again, because it’s going on 3 months since I last got laid, and I’m going a bit crazy. But hooking up with him gets into dangerous territory. It’s a slippery slope between hooking up once or twice to falling in love with your FWB of a year. I don’t want that to happen again. So I think I need to stand by my “no nailing anyone other than a boyfriend” rule.

And maybe it’s time to start finding guys who listen to Nickleback. Sure, it will suck dating them, but at least when shit hits the fan, I will have no problem never listening to that shit ever again. I’m brilliant.

Let’s do the time warp again…



2 thoughts on “Hook-Ups, Hickies and Getting Back Up On the Horse

  1. […] a week later than I was expecting to, I heard from Soccer Boy.  He texted me, saying something about us being stubborn, and freezing each other out, or some […]

  2. […] third part in the gong show is Married Twatwaffle, previously known as Soccer Boy.  This is a story and a half really, but I will try to make it as short and sweet as […]

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